A Magickal Meliss: It's been raining for way too long

Friday, September 9, 2011

It's been raining for way too long

My heart is hurting
and sad
and I'm trying to keep going even though I want to give up because I'm just sick and tired of people and being disappointed by them
and I'm sick of the same old story being attached to me when I deserve so much better
So other than that, what have I been doing?

I've been finding my heart in a cage
- a rib cage -
which is a good cage to be in
because it means I'm still alive.

makin' pretty things from a jumble of wire
I've done the same thing with my life

recalling old stories that I'm yet to tell.....
and wondering if I'll ever tell them outside of my journal
and wondering if anyone will care
and trying to remain at the place where I don't care if anyone cares or not, but finding it hard and hurtful

takin' pictures of the rain and ruining them cause I didn't see the light reflecting

swimmin' in the rain
and fluctuating between feeling how I feel and knowing I am blessed

finding lots of adorable cats doing adorable things

(above - Pie-rat)
(below - Ta-tee-tee)

(Rowan watching one of his squirrel "friends")

sayin', "Say cheese" to my Praying Mantis friend who I find every time I look for it and the hubby says, "How do you do that?"

finding beauty in something shriveled

finding flowers that glow

remembering that this is my Summer-Sun-Set Life and to not let ridiculously expensive magazines tell me that my life isn't as inspiring as it
and then knowing it's more inspiring simply because I'm not in a magazine and I'm still going

And journaling, journaling, journaling which is the best way to get through anything
especially being unheard (listen to yourself when no one else does)

and what else???
making art.....

The Process of Belief
the unbelief is part of the belief.
HOW?
because without the something the nothing cannot be defined
Belief cannot be known without becoming best friends with unbelief.