Monday, May 6, 2013

Featured Film Short: Leanin' Ladders

On Friday, I received a comment that made my inner artist sigh,
and then say,
“My intentions are being received."
It's made my mechanical heart feel joy-full-ness.

My eyes teared up with that joy-full-ness,
and the smile, :)
It’s the kind of smile where the tugging on the corners of your mouth is coming from some invisible thread that seems to be attached directly to your soul.

I found out that the words you paint on your studio wall come true.
I’m glad I am the kind of adult who lets me paint on the walls.
I wonder if I’m the kind of adult who would encourage me to draw on the walls????
May - be
‘cause I just thought,
‘That could be some serious Fun......’
And my mind’s eyeball started to form a picture.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with inspiration,
with all the ‘things’ I want to do,

one of my most recent imaginings:
I wanna make myself an amazing outfit
and go into the woods,
set up the camera
and take pictures of me with a whole bunch of balloons.

Thing is,
it's not a new thought,
not entirely,
the outfit and the woods and the picture are already there.
I want a picture of it in every season.
(part of me just thought,
I should have done it for my 40th year,
which is this year, but I've already missed winter)
*another of me said - so do it for your 41st year,
doesn't matter when you do it,
only matters that you DO do it,
if you want to accomplish it before you leave this life's journey*

I've already started on the outfit,
but I'm at a standstill for a multitude of reasons.

The only new piece of the dream that has revealed its-self to me is this:
The balloons.

here is THE question:
Will I ever get around to that?

May - be.
Time will tell.
Also, how good I take care of myself or not will tell
cause if I don’t take care of myself now,
later won’t be available for my artistic whims.

I do the best I can.
I was not provided a good base to build off of.
I've had to build my own base.
And that takes time.
It takes Time AND Care,
not just the Care.
And Time to me includes Me and it includes You.
Not just me and the tv.
But most of us model what we were given in some shape or form
(or is it All of us??).

Making myself an outfit is not an easy task.
But I feel confident that over time,
as I gain expertise in not only construction,
but what kind of outfit am I dreaming of??? 
because "outfit" covers a lot of area.
Too much area.
I've discovered,
in my artistic experience,
that discovering that information sometimes takes time.
The entire vision of something isn't known to me when I begin.
Sometimes I begin with,
I want to create something (or draw something or paint something).
Period. And I just start somewhere.

Mostly, I've found out that,
'It' requires Effort.
OH NO!!!! and Aaaaawwwwwww-Man!!
Everything I want to do takes EFFORT!!!!
And I am fresh out!!
I gotta put that on my shopping list.
Ever feel like that??
Like the effort it takes doesn't match up with the outcome?
Like you already know it's gonna turn out bad,
so why bother?
Or even if you think it might turn out great,
something is lacking in the outcome that causes you to wonder,
"What's the point of doing it?"
I do, I do, I do.

I just smile and keep going.
Sometimes it's okay for a dream to just stay a dream.
Sometimes it's okay to let a dream go find another heart to be birthed out of.
Even if they have to go through the backdoor to do it.
Sometimes rest for our bodies is more important.
But only you can make that decision for yourself.

Let us be wise,
and brave
and giving enough to do that.


ps:   The Red-Bellied Woodpecker is part of the Ladder-Backed Woodpecker family.
The Red-Headed Woodpecker is the newest bird to visit our yard - our total is somewhere in the 40's.
The Hummingbird arrived and the Chipmunks are back and last night we saw an Opossum with a big fat belly pouch, which means tiny tea-cup baby opossums :), which despite how they look when they grow up, are amazingly adorable!  I know because the OP with the babies in its pouch was the cutest little tea-cup-opossum OP from last summer.

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