Someone said I was hands-down, the most misunderstood person she'd ever met.
I already knew I was misunderstood. After-all, I was me.
It bothered me.
Really bothered me.
Caused me A LOT of trouble
and pain.
People think certain things and then apply them to you. But rarely ever recognize that it was generated from them, by them, inside of them. It was their Interpretation of You - which they then confuse with You. Most people are so messed up on the inside with their own 'stuff' that they cannot see anyone else clear enough to say squat about them. Doesn't stop them. But if you happen to be one of the ones they talk about - it helps you to understand that.
I used to care,
A LOT.
and then I found this out:
"Being understood is not the most essential thing in life." Jodie Foster
And I started to not care what people's interpretation of me was. I let go of trying to control that. Let them think what they want. Let them not get it or me. Doesn't matter one bit because the truth is this: if someone is for me, they'll get me. And if they don't get me, they are dangerous to have around and a time sucker.
Around the same time, I realized what was most essential in life was for me to understand myself. Not so I could explain it to others, but so I could love me for the unique, cuddly soul I am. I may have a short temper, but I don't lie and I don't remain in fake relationships with people I don't like or respect. You would never find out that we'd been in a relationship for umpteen years and the whole time I couldn't stand you and/or thought horrible things about you or talked about you behind your back or wrote a note that called you a bitch. But I might lose my temper and get snippy with you if I have to tell you for the thousandth time where the hand towels go. ;) Or if you won't eat your breakfast, I might yell, "GOD DAMN IT EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!" But I wouldn't hang out with people that hurt you to your core. That I wouldn't do. I admit my flaws. I embrace them. I'd rather have my flaws than the others I mentioned.
IMO, Phoney Backstabbers are the worst!! There are so many things I'd rather be than one of those. Like a shoe-sniffer at the old shoe factory.
But it's funny, the phoney backstabbers condemned the stuffing out of me. All the while, acting as if they're wonderful. All the while, saying about me that I think I am perfect.
Didn't they hear themselves??
No because the fact is most people don't listen.
Not even to themselves.
Do yourself a favor......LISTEN TO YOURSELF.....it'll change your entire life.
Most people want to be heard and acknowledged by someone and feel hurt in life because they don't receive that. It's because they completely miss the point. They are the someone they need to hear them. They are the someone they need to be acknowledged by. Instead of putting that job onto someone else who I can tell you is flat out going to screw it up - put the job onto the only person who can do it correctly!!!! That's you dear-heart!
My hubby rocks - he can make me laugh until I can't breathe, which is probably my most favorite thing in the whole world, so he's cool.......but do I feel completely heard by him? No. NO. But I've arrived at a place where I can say - I don't care. I do not need him to fulfill that. I gave up that ridiculous idea of marital love and began to understand that the category it truly belongs in is Self-Love.
I am so much more self-grounded than I used to be. I no longer need him to agree with me. Although most times we do agree with each other, I can say - I don't care what you think. You can think whatever you want. I think you're wrong. And he can say he thinks I'm wrong and I can say I don't care and I can go to bed and wake up the next morning and not even broach the subject. And simply move on in our partnership. It doesn't have to ruin anything - us disagreeing over a video game is not that vital. Now, if we disagreed on how to live our lives......that's a problem. But I can let him think I'm wrong and it doesn't bother me one bit because I stand behind myself so strongly now that I don't need him to.
I urge you to let people think whatever they want about you - that you're a bitch or controlling or resentful or angry or crazy or uncool or fat or stupid or ugly. I urge you to have a real moment of clarity about how tightly you are trying to grasp the imaginary controls over other people's thoughts.
You are not responsible for what people think. THEY ARE. And the root of the truth is this: What they think isn't the problem. The true problem is that you think what they think matters - which is what makes it matter to you.
All you can do is live your life the best way you can. "Spreading joy is the best thing you can do in this world...." "A thing that comes into the world, spreads no joy or happiness, might just as well have never been born at all." Pinocchio (movie, 2002)
Do not go out of this world wearing a tag that says "might just as well have never been born at all." !!! how horrid. OMG, spreading joy is one of the easiest things to do.....even if all you do is give out free paper dolls to children.
I like what Bishop T. D. Jakes says: "Time defines you. Some people will understand you later.”
and I can tell you, the ones who do not, are more utterly confused than me when the hubby starts talking about accounting. ewwww, yawn.
~make some magick in your life today~
Meliss
