Thursday, April 28, 2011

Birthday Binkie Ballerina

Aw, Binx, look how cute you were
when you were a tiny baby...
looking like E.T.

Mom, if Rowan got a birthday story post I want one too!

Okay Binx. Here goes....

Binx was born a poor little porch rat
and then she turned into
a beeeeee-u-tifull princess!
Here's a picture of you on your 2nd birthday.

Rowan loved her right away, well, almost right away...right after he told her who was the boss.

Yeah right, nobody is the boss of Binx, except maybe you, Mom.

I wanted a black cat for a long time
and then I finally got one
and it was Binx.

That guy who lives here always tells that story about Christmas.
He says, "One Christmas my cat went crazy."
He's a jerk.
It's not my fault you guys were taking too many pictures
and holding me too long
and over stimulating me
and ever since then you can't put your face near mine
because I'll get it.

That's true.

When Binx was tiny, she used to say,
"I'm not tired!"
And keep us up at night.
And then she grew up,
and like most cats,
she got really tired.

And she really liked to be warm.
Remember that time I let you
lay under the heating pad?

Yeah, that was awesome.

It was a magickal time before I had to say things like,
"It lays down or It gets the hose."

Yeah, it was B.K.

B.K. What's that mean?

You know what it means.

OoooooH, I get it.
And Binx's life was really peaceful.......
dum dum DA.....

Yeah, it used to be peaceful around here B.K - Before Kittens!
And then kittens named Mooka and Wentz moved in.
And when they grew up, they chased me.
And then after that, there were more kittens.

And now Wentz
and those bratty "kittens" named Twix and Pop-Tart and Cleo
are always getting me.

That guy who lives here says it's my fault cause I slink around like a smooth criminal.
I can't help slinking around, I'm a black cat.
Plus slinky rhymes with Binky.
So there.
I still say he's a jerk.
That's why I bite his calves.

Yeah, that is kinda funny.

Anyways, back to the story.
I used to sing a song
that went like this:

"Binx is a Ha-la-wee-ner, Haa-laa-a-weener"
Until one day she did her first tiny dance.
That was how she turned into
a bee-u-tifull Ballerina.

Now I sing this song:
"Binx is a Ba-la-ree-ner, Ba-la-a-reener."
And one day soon,
I'll get around to taking a picture
and maybe even some video
of Binx dancing.

Mom, what else is there to tell about me?

Let's see...
Binx loves to get bugs.
Whenever I say, "There's a buggie,"
Binx comes running to save me.

She also loves to play with peanuts in the shell.
Binx's offical name is Binx Bianca Bedazzle,
but I mostly call her things like
Doodle Bug and Binkle Dinkle.

When me and that guy who lives here
talk about "It", we call "It" "It",
which It doesn't seem to mind.

One time I saved Its life when It was little.
It got Its neck caught between the leg of the chair
and the leg of the table.
It also got a gift bag caught around Its neck
and ran all around the house like a maniac
while we chased It trying to get the bag off.
Although we found it rather amusing,
I don't think It found it funny at all.

Not in the slightest. That was horrible.
But if it happened to the kittens I'd laugh my tail off.

As a matter of fact,
You've actually had some traumatic events
happen to you.

Yeah I did,
what about when I was a baby and that guy who lives here locked me in the refrigerator? Good thing you guys were watching TV and heard me crying and started looking around for me and finally found me freezing my whiskers off in the fridge.
Or how about the TWO TIMES he locked me out of the apartment in the hallway?
And how about now when he locks me in the closet?

No wonder you bite him.

Yeah. Jerk.

Let's see, what else...
Binx loves Rowan!
And Rowan loves Binx!
They're best friends.
Mooka and Binx get along mostly.
But when she's mad,
she actually looks for Mooka to take it out on.
In reality, Binx is all talk.

Except when she gets cat-nip muscles.
Then everybody look out!
If cat-nip was beer in a can,
Binx would be a "Toucan Sam."
She's a lightweight and gets nipped real easy.
One whiff and she's flagged.

And being the Princess that she is,
she "rings a bell" when she wants service.
Which basically translates into,
she bangs the closet door
to let us know she wants to eat.
We hear it and say,
"Binx is ringing her bell."

She's also kinda destructive.
She loves to tear papers up.
And she's terrified of the vacuum,
anything metal clanking together,
and sometimes rainstorms.

Did I leave anything out?

"and even though she's sometimes a pest,

we still love her and would never trade her for any other cat in the whole entire universe"

That's true!
Happy 7th Birthday Biny our "Tiny Dancer"

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