I am allowed to be disappointed

I am allowed to be disappointed.

It will not hurt my chances for success.

As long as I don't stay disappointed.

I like being positive, thinking positively,

BUT all this positive thinking stuff can be damaging

and I can see it's one-sided'ness.

There comes a point when I'm not feeling my natural feelings

because others have said or even implied that it will create negative energy

or I'll be 'punished' for not believing something will happen for 5 minutes

out of 24 hours of believing.

Having 100% never wavering faith isn't possible,

it doesn't leave room for human being'ness,

imperfection, real experience of The All.

In my reality, the UN-faith is IN the FAITH.

It's part of it.

Basically, if I don't get to have my dream because I decided that it's okay to feel my feelings....

instead of positive talking myself out of them right away....

well then so be it.

But I don't believe that's the way it works.

She said, "You are THE most misunderstood person I've ever met." That is not a sad thing. It means I am mysterious and unfathomable. That means I am like The Great Spirit, God, Goddess, The Universal All.

Unfathomable means: to not be able to measure the depth of, to not be able to understand thoroughly

You cannot measure my depth or my contribution. Neither can I.

You cannot measure Me. Neither can I.

I am immeasurable.

I am NOT ABLE to be measured.

You cannot understand me thoroughly. Neither can I.

I am not fast food....greasy death on a bun of bread, bloody thickness, green crunch, thick white gloop in those veins and whatever else you need on top and in between.

I am an infinite meal with many more courses than you can handle.

I am THE most misunderstood person she ever met......

~ Tis a glorious thing! ~

My magickal life

Some magick happened to me yesterday.

I was working on a new project and wanted to do some of my new favorite thing.....creating some found poetry. I decided to use the copy of "Our Daily Bread" that I picked up. Lots of lovely'ness in there. The first page I flipped to caught my eye because I saw my name. Then I read what it said. (you can click on the image to make it bigger)



Being seen or noticed or recognized or appreciated by others on Earth is not THE most important thing. THE most important thing is to do what my soul loves to do and to see and notice and recognize and appreciate my~self and to know that I am always seen and noticed and recognized and appreciated in the beyond. Just because I don't hear the roar of the crowd or the thunder of applause, doesn't mean it isn't there. It's there because I believe it's there.

BTW: the word that's 'missing' is HEART

Another magickal thing about yesterday: I easily found all the words that I was looking for.

My mind is a quagmire of thought,
of knowing,
of not knowing,
of forgetting,
of remembering,
of realizing,
of experiencing,
of inner and outer action.
But perhaps you think that when I am still,
because you think or believe I am still,
that I am still...
let me say, "I am never STILL."
My atoms, my particles,
of which you cannot see (get a microscope),
are in Constant Motion.
So, you see,
you might just not see it...
but I am always going.
You are too.

Birthday bliss

Something that I've fallen in love with....


I liked this girl so much that I decided to use her again.





poem reads:

a process
more intimate
cheese is gold
Earth your life
working, sleeping
alchemy
anything
you have a meaning

(the cheese is gold part makes me laugh, but I like it)


poem reads:

crystal stardust
inside them
new glory
with nature
and outside
they often
gather around

(Blissful Wheel Around $28 at Building Character)

The poem around the top reads:

Taking deep breaths
the blissful wheel around
a symbol of a never-ending message
herb gardens feel an affinity
birds listen for nature
life turns into a stretch of reason
She's the sunrise walks
next to a clump of trees

I forgot how much I enjoy writing poetry. Glad I remembered.

Have you ever watched the movie "Phenomenon"? There's a part in the beginning when George, at his birthday party, walks outside. He says, "37" and raises his glass to the sky in gratitude. Well, that's me.......37 and great~full.

Life goes on

Been sad. Been spending lots of time with the cats.

I watched The Green Mile the other day, never saw it before. I liked the quote at the end....."Everyone owes a death. There are no exceptions." Life has an exquisite pain about it and I will not avoid it. My little defiant insides say, "BRING IT ON!" But the rest of me says - keep us all together and healthy and happy for lots and lots of years. Ah, the uncertainty, the lovely'ness, the brilliant way of Life.


Let's look at something pretty, shall we?
















All around the top it says, "Faerie hearts open wide to the rushing tide, won't you let it inside?"

I say



(available, the last time I looked, at Building Character - $12.50)

He's Special Buddy

We'll miss you Special Buddy Cat. Going outside will never be the same. Now you can chase the chipmunks and birds till your heart's content. You'll never be rained on or cold. The sun will always shine on your silky black coat. Even though our hearts are sad and hurting and our eyes are sore and puffy from crying ~ We are happy that we knew you and fell in love with your sweet soul. Thank you for trusting us.


Thank you for your prayers and thoughts.
Melissa and Family

Spring broke inward

Oh my favorite new thing to make.........this is box number two, it's 'name, Number Two." (I'm a movie quoter - that's from Austin Powers). No, for real, it's name is ~Spring broke inward~ it's $16 available at Building Character.



















I'm upset.....our outside Special Buddy Cat is sick. He's been at the vet since yesterday. We're not sure what's going on - some kind of virus.....could be one of those real nasty ones that can't be fought, could be just a normal one that got a hold of him that we can beat. I really hope it's a beater. Oh, the trials of loving.

Celebrating my first piece sold

Time to celebrate......................
I sold my first piece!

I wasn't there when it happened, but I saw the resulting empty space. This is one time when empty space is a really good thing! :) Marty from Building Character said about the secret buyer, "It reminded her of her daughter." Aw, that's cute.

Well, whoever you are, I send you ~abundant gratitude~ and many wonderful wishes for beautiful you and beautiful daughter!

~~~~~YAY~~~~~~~

Last night at First Friday, the cutest thing happened. I give out little dolls to all the lil girls I see (and sometimes boys if they want one).



One lil girl said, "I'm going to name her Melissa. It's my favorite name." :) Awwwww, made me so warm and fuzzy inside and out!!!!

100 ships

I'll be at First Friday tonight at Building Character in Lancaster.

I'm taking my new favorite thing....




Here's one with the top on. There's a poem all the way around

100 ships given a bed
together thunder or rain
Great relief took mid-May
Summer: Lightning in the sky at night
a fledgeling sparrow in a utterly innocent afternoon
feeling each other kiss
air in my cheek
4th June in my heart
morning flies early gold
the afternoon merry dance
night of all harmony

If uneven wings are okay, so are crooked pictures!

Little shop of art

This is my lil shop at Building Character.

I have a journal there cause I love to get messages.

It sits waaaaayyyy up on the top shelf - that's the only place it would sit still....silly lil journal.

There it is!

Here are two of the messages I've received.

This one is a really sweet message from Amanda - who I've never met, but maybe someday I will.

This one is a rockin' poem from Michi, who I have met - she's a 16 year old woman of the world who reminds me of me.

Ah, the magick of The Journal.

I am an artist

I am an artist at all times
it is deep and set into my core
When I take a bath in pink tinted water,
lavender and chamomile and coconut scented soaps
I paint myself with all this lusciousness