Friday, November 11, 2011

How 'bout a little fire Scarecrow?

Here is a magick spell left over from Halloween,
eventually everyone succumbs to its power.
I've found that we are All Casters of Spells.
whether we mean to or not.

I realized,
I had nobody to turn to
I wish I had known I could’ve turned to God.
I wish somebody had told me that
couldn’t changed a lot of things.....
I hesitate saying that because I don’t want to alter my right now at all.
At 4:30 vacation starts.
And we’re celebrating eating salad for dinner for 4 nights in a row with a pizza.
We have vacation immunity.
Yeeeessssss! (HIMYM style)

Like everything else,
Having a Questioning Spirit has it’s blessings
and it’s curses.

It is vital for a Questioning Spirit to understand and study Acceptance.

Sometimes I hear noises in my house
and I’m afraid of it being a person
or a ghost.
Adult me knows it’s the cats.
But sometimes Adult me checks under the door first.

We are so often still babies
still afraid of the dark.
even if the lights are on.
I could never live in an old house
even though if you asked me 5 or so years ago,
“Would you buy an old house?”
I would have said, “YES!”
But older and wiser and more ‘Me’, me knows,
when it’s 3:00 am
and I have to go to the bathroom,
I don’t want to have to worry at all
about seeing something.
I’ve watched way too many scary movies in my life
but it hasn’t stopped me yet.
I just ask God to go with me now.
The cats help too.

My most recent best advice to me:
Find out Who You Are, so you know what You want.
Have you ever tried to get a Christmas present for someone you don't know??????
(God, that is a hell that no one should face! I Hate IT!)

Working out still
spending time with God
forgetting that there’s a difference.
Wanting to tell you things like:
#8 by Heather Nova - South
letting you do the rest of the work.
(#13 too)

Sometimes I don’t have to wonder why we do the things we do.
I know.
We all have Stories of Pain.

My life isn’t ruined.
But it has ruined parts
I don’t trust myself so much
that I find it hard to even write a blog
at times
because i've been so harshly criticized
or ignored.
so half of what i do is criticize
and you guessed it,
ignore myself.
doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

What am I writing that for?
Am I finally allowed to have my own truth?
probably not.
My own version of what I experienced...
how can that be anything other than what I think it is?
How can MY Version of anything come from someone else?

Like many women,
I have a past that involves relationships
and the search for meaning through other people....
especially men who are good looking and popular in some way,
if he’s in a band - well, that’s the dream baby.
Or is it?
I am so glad I am no longer that stupid and shallow and pathetic.
Poor past me.
She did Her best
and I respect and love Her for that.
but damn was she dumb.
and hurt.
and lonely.
I think she’d be pleased to know we turn out Happy though.
Is your past you happy with who they’ve become?

It’s vital to a Healthy Spirit to love ourselves into becoming Ourselves.

It's okay though,
I can still find the smiley face,
even in distorted views of my world.
If you can't, i recommend practice....
lots and lots of practice.....
cause that's how I can.

Even thorns have veins.

From this to that.

That's magick to me.
I understand the intricate
details that go into it.
I deeply respect 'Science'.
for me,
'Science' only proves further that there is a ~God~.
so, 'Science' is proof?, i say to myself
Good, got something figured out then!

This paper is proof that 70 years ago
one person sat reviewing another person's work.
we can see some of what was said.
but what I like about it is this:
it starts out with the words,
"I would have....blah, blah blah."
so all it is is someone's opinion.
what a relief.

btw, aren't we All time travelers?

Oh man,
I finally got it!
OF Course it freaked him out!!!!
Scarecrows are Always afraid of Witches with fire,
but mostly,
it's about the fire.


PS: the wizard of oz is in my dna i think.
ps2: i forgot to call that in the other post, "I'm Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz." and also, "I'm Jessie from Sooner or Later."
ps3: just because i called something doesn't mean you can't call it too.

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