Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Heart Your Art - part 2

Funny I should be talking about struggling cause I'm struggling right now. This voice in my head keeps telling me what I'm doing is stupid and I'm not saying anything that people don't already know. That's okay - it's allowed to have an opinion - it's not gonna stop me, but there's room for anyone to think what I'm doing is stupid, including this voice. The really cool thing about it is...........It's MY BLOG and I can be stupid here all I want. Haha! :)


Tip #2

As best you can, Accept Yourself.

Not the most original idea, but still very important. It's also a continuation of #1. There is no way I can make beautiful art, love it for its beauty, and do the whole thing joyously when I'm busy torturing the stuffing out of myself because I'm not perfect. Again, if I cannot heart me, I cannot heart something that comes from me.

I believe, one of the most important aspects of accepting myself is being aware of my thoughts.

There are lots of times when my mind wanders around its self while I'm 'busy' painting. Perhaps it's looking through some old files under "E" for thing I know I'm thinking about 20 things I did to embarrass myself. Or maybe it's looking under "R" for regret and I start questioning things I've done, choices I've made, even if I've already gone through them a million times and know I've done the best I could. Or maybe it's looking under "O" for all that 'One day' stuff that will 'make me happy', as opposed to how I feel now - "Incomplete."

All of that is not only wasted energy, but it's negative energy that I'm putting into my art. So maybe instead of seeing the art itself, I'm picking up on what I put into it and that's why I can't heart it? (I heart this idea.) It's also destructive to me and my time. Making art should, for the most part, be fun, healing, enjoyable, and if I'm lucky, a trip to the moon!

Joyce Meyer, although not on the same path as I am, is one smart lady! She talks about the mind being a battlefield. She informed me that I don't have to think the things my mind wants to bring up. That's Brilliant!!

Years ago, when something like that popped into my head I just had to take it. But I just say, "Shut up. I've dealt with that and I'm not thinking about it again." A minute later, I might catch my mind wading through negativity AGAIN and I have to say AGAIN, "SHUT UP." I just keep at it. The great thing is that my mind has figured out that I'm not going there, so it doesn't mess with me as much.

You might be thinking, "Well, if you're talking about accepting, wouldn't accepting those thoughts be the 'right' thing to do?"

Not necessarily, because those thoughts are about not accepting Me because sometimes I do 'wrong' things like stumble over my words, or I don't live my life the way "they" say I should, I don't do what "they" say I should do so I have doubts, which is the larger issue. I accept these happenings, but I don't have to let them disrupt my acceptance of my beautifully imperfect self.

I will never be perfect - which means I'll always have things to learn, always have room to grow, always have new discoveries about Me. That didn't always sound too appealing to me, until recently.

I needed some new music and since I admire Alanis Morissette (because of her dedication to her inner workings, her obvious growth on her journey, and because she shares it in beautiful songs), she was a must on the list. I bought her 2008 CD, Flavors of Entanglement and had my mind changed by my favorite 'new' song.

(Lyrics by Alanis)

One day I'll find relief

I'll be arrived

And I'll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends

One day I'll be at peace

I'll be enlightened

And I'll be married with children and maybe adopt

One day I will be healed

I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

I have been running so sweaty my whole life urgent for a finish line

I have been missing the rapture this whole time, of being forever incomplete

One day my mind will retreat

And I'll know God

And I'll be constantly one with her night, dusk, and day

One day I'll be secure

Like the women I see on their 30th anniversaries

I have been running so sweaty my whole life urgent for a finish line
I have been missing the rapture this whole time, of being forever incomplete

Ever unfolding

Ever expanding

Ever adventurous

And torturous

......but never done

One day I will speak freely

I'll be less afraid and measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art

One day I will be faith filled

I'll be trusting and spacious, authentic and grounded and home

I have been running so sweaty my whole life urgent for a finish line

I have been missing the rapture this whole time, of being forever incomplete

(My broadband usage is really close to our cut-off, so I can't check these out, but here's a link to hear "Incomplete" on YouTube - Sorry! but well worth the listen if you've never heard it)

** I love how Alanis makes the idea of being incomplete (or not perfect) sound more wonderful than the being complete part with just one line! **

Today, I am going to make some art and listen to Alanis and not let my mind torture me and be in the RAPTURE of accepting me and hearting my art, even if neither of us is perfect or complete!

Wha'chu doin'?


ps: I can't seem to get the Mr. Linky page up and I gotta go make some, you'll have to accept that making a comment is your only option today. ;)

1 comment:

  1. You are not stupid and what your are doing is not stupid. Tell those voices to F--- OFF !

    Yes these are things that we all kind of know, but also the kind of things we all need to work on again and again, 'cause guess what ? None of us is perfect, nor will we ever be. But striving to be better is part of this wonderful perfectly imperfect life we live in.

    You have inspired me. Don't quit ! And check this out, Magickal Meliss :
    Squishy imperfect hugs to you !


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