The "What's the point JERK" for me, is closely related to the issue of MONEY.
From my journal - January 2009
It's one of those problem times. What's the point? To explore. To play. To experience. What more do you require? If this is about money or popularity...well those things do not take away this feeling. Many who have both still feel the way you do. And they are surprised that 'things' are no different. So perhaps they feel worse than you do. Just to LIVE! That is the point. If you need more...I fear joy will not come your way. Just be in the day.
Find something to do and do it...just do it. Look at the cats - they make no $, they receive no huge amounts of applause. They receive no more than you do - perhaps less - yet they are happy...they are joyfull. Why chase a ball? Because it's there to be chased - pursued - played with - experienced. They aren't saying, "What's the point to all this ball chasing? We can't eat it and we make no MONEY from it." No, they just play for the pleasure of it...over and over again. Sure they get bored, but then they just find something new to do.
Satisfaction from the Latin: satis - enough + facere - make. Okay, my brain says this, "It's never enough, so you have to make it enough. Decide that it's enough."
From my journal - November 2007
I'm now watching "You've Got Mail." Kathleen is wondering about her work:
"What is it that I do exactly? All I really do is run a children's book store."
Her boyfriend says, "All you really do is this incredibly noble thing."
She says she doesn't know.
He snaps his fingers and says, while typing, "Kathleen, you are a lone reed standing tall, waving boldly in the corrupt sands of commerce."
She repeats, "I am a lone reed," while leaving the room.
The look on her face though says it all - she doesn't get it, it isn't enough, something is still awry inside of her. The boyfriend sits proudly, as if he handed her the answer.
In the next scene she is writing an email:
"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, valuable, but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it or because I haven't been brave?"
There is this intense pressure from society to live large, bold lives, to be seen, famous, rich - of course. Not all of us are cut out for that kind of life - yet if you aren't than you must not be brave enough, you must not have put yourself out there, you must be living by fear.
I feel the pressure that was placed inside. But inside there is also a voice who says, "What is this big life all about? What is it that this big life contains that this small life does not?
Fame? Fame truly is a non-importance. Fame only makes it difficult to go out unnoticed. :)
Money? Well, sure, perhaps. But again, not of great importance. Brings its own set of troubles. And we've got enough now.
A sense of satisfaction? Does the satisfaction become larger in the big life? Self-satisfaction doesn't work that way. You are either satisfied or you're not. I can be just as pleased about doing laundry as I can about 200 people thinking my work is cool.
Being satisfied in your work has almost nothing to do with what the work is - being satisfied in that way is a decision you make inside. That is all. A decision. Not a simple decision though. And also not a decision made once and completed forevermore. It doesn't just get checked off the list as complete....that is unless you write a daily check list and write: be satisfied with the job you've done/the life you're living.
I looked up satisfaction. It mentions a settlement of debt. This morning I watched "The Waltons" (I love "The Waltons" and "Little House on the Prairie"). The episode was one I'd seen before, but I decided to watch it again. The entire show was about how they had finally paid off the loan for the sawmill machinery. They had no debt. They didn't owe anything to anyone. Their debt was settled!