Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wordy Wednesday 1: Accomplish

It feels like there are so many things to do. I feel pulled in many, many directions. Which way? Do, do, do - which ‘thing’ do I do? Go, go, go - which way do I go? ACCOMPLISH!! I feel, actually physically feel the PRESSURE (Isn’t it strange that we can physically feel an emotional/mental state of mind? We are multi-dimensionally experiencing machines.) I sometimes can’t figure out what to do - yard work, art, housework? Well, if I choose the yard, the next question becomes this....what do I do in the yard? THE WEEDS? What a daunting task that is! (My secret weapon against weeds is a nice drink of white vinegar on a hot day - the acid kills them dead, but don’t get it on your plants, it’ll kill them too.) Then the excuses roll’s too hot, I don’t have any vinegar, it’s not sunny, etc. etc. Okay, so say I go with art - man, that’s the worst one to pick, there are so so many ‘things’ to do there...paintings to paint, the la-boratory to work on as always, videos to do, stories to write, pictures to take, blah, blah, blah - a mountain of projects that seems to always be growing, twisting it’s way so it hangs directly over my head. Finally, because I’ve already shot down two ideas, a really mousey voice comes out and says, “uh, how about house-work????” That actually sounds better than the other two choices right now - dishes, here I come. So, while doing the mindless work of the house, my mind gets bored and begins a conversation with its-self.

There’s so many things to do outside...the sticker bushes are taking over...there’s stuff I still haven’t planted yet and it’s June! I gotta do that....yeah, gotta do that.....and then there’s those two hills that are covered in weeds. Yeah, but what about the house? I need to finish painting the trim while the weather is nice, then I gotta paint the bathrooms, the kitchen cabinets....UGH! (feeling overwhelmed) I’ll never get it all done!! But I need to get it all done....right now so the yard and house can be nice and I can feel okay!!

That’s when I catch myself, when I realize that I’m freaking out, almost unconsciously. I take a deep breath and begin to have a more rational conversation with me. My friend Dee’s wise words about gardening come in handy. “It’ll take you 10 years to get it how you want it.” We’ve lived here almost 4 years and in that time there’s lots of projects we’ve done, lots of things we’ve changed. We built a path around the side of the house to the woods outback, put in an herb garden (which as this point is more like a lemon balm garden - that stuff is gonna take over the world), added another small garden with a trellis built from wood we found in the woods, covered the weed infested area out front around the lilies with homemade mulch from our wood chipper, and made a fire pit.

There have also been other projects that didn’t work out or we just couldn’t keep up with (3.5 acres is a lot, especially when you lived in an apartment before that) - for example: the trails we raked in the woods which are now totally covered by leaves again. It just didn’t make sense to keep up, we were way too scared of getting ticks to actually walk back there, but don’t want to spray ourselves with poison just to walk in the woods (seems ironic - walk in woods, healthy, poison, unhealthy). So, chalk that up to live and learn. The hubby always says, “Oooohhh, why can’t we learn it, why do we have to live it?”

As easy as these projects may seem, they’re hard work, they take lots of elbow grease and time, always much more time than we think they will. So, my friend’s words comfort me and return me to Earth, make me remember that everything takes time. That’s how it is. That’s how it’s meant to be - seed, time, harvest. The time comes in between the beginning and the end. The time isn’t important, it’s what we fill it with. Patience is required for a pleasant journey here on Earth. There are infinite opportunities to grow our ability to wait. That is directly related to how we wait, in other words how we feel while we’re waiting and how we act while we’re waiting (but don’t expect to wait well every time, we’re all allowed to be crabby on occasion). I have found that we can get ourselves into a fair amount of trouble by not waiting to have some “thing”, do some “thing”, be some “thing” - financial trouble, physical trouble, mental/emotional trouble....and for what? ACCOMPLISHMENT. Because that really means have, to do, to be. That means you’re Accomplished. That means you’re somebody.....right???


Let’s dig up it’s roots and have a look-see with my 1969 Webster’s dictionary....1969 was before they started modernizing everything.

The word accomplishment is from the Latin ad - which means to or towards combined with the Latin complere - which means to fill up, complete.

There it is! That’s the whole problem! Did you catch it?

We look to accomplishment to fill up. To fill up what? To fill up time, to fill up space (Is it true that our bodies are full of space? I heard that somewhere.). Accomplishments provide meaning where otherwise there wouldn’t be any. Without doing something that society would approve of we have no meaning. Really? No, not really...that’s just a lie someone told us and many of us keep spreading it around, like a rumor, in order to keep the mouse wheel turning (the hubby would probably blame the rich people for this - they need us little people to keep their lifestyle).

Here’s a good question to start with: Are we full or are we empty? What is your underlying belief about yourself?

I believe we arrive full and complete to our Earth experience, needing nothing, but perhaps believing we do (that’s part of how Life is experienced - see suggested reading *). So, how can I fill up something that is already full? The answer is that I can’t. I can try to trade some of what’s already in there for what I want to put in - perhaps that’s where many of us go wrong. We replace what we were innately born with, with what the world provides. It’s like trading veggies and fruits for empty, sugary calories. Most people are actively doing that right now. What would make us want to trade the glorious treasures we posses inside for the fanfare of this world? (mainly love because we were in some way damaged in our past and have not healed our wounds -also acceptance, approval, money, power, material items, security, etc.)

When I try to fill up something that is already full with more, a pressure is created. Pressure is associated with accomplishment in our society. A coincidence? I think not. I believe this is one way the pressure we feel inside is created - I see it as a mental/emotional/physical manifestation of a physical/psychological/spiritual occurrence. Feeling empty is mostly just a lie we tell ourselves (it can also be a sign that something is “wrong” in your life - it takes emotional work to determine which is true for you).

We are constantly trying to validate our existence by doing something or being something more or other than what/who we are. The measurements we use come from outside “things” (actual things, people, money, popularity, comments, followers, visitors, stats, etc. - blogland is full of these traps). We are trained to use these measurements from the beginning from others who are using these measurements. It is only when we see that they hold no merit whatsoever that we are able to begin to break away.

The only, singular, and true measure of us is our own belief that WE (period). ARE (period). WORTHY (period). That is all. Everything else is malarkey. Inside we know this (you can lie to your outer self, but never to your inner self - it knows all). Maybe this is another place from which that pressure we feel arises - our own uncomfortable’ness with what we are doing.

If I never made another piece of art, I would still be a valid human soul, not an artist anymore, but being an artist doesn’t mean anything more than that. Artist is something I choose to do with my life. If I sat on the couch until I died, would I still be a valid human soul? Absolutely. Perhaps I wouldn’t have used my opportunity at “the game of Life” to the best of my ability, but still valid and worthy. Making art doesn’t make me better, it helps me feel better than if I hadn’t done anything at all. I’m here, I might as well do something instead of nothing. There is a balance between accomplishing for the sake of using and sharing our gifts, for the experience in Life, for the enjoyment it brings us and accomplishing in order to gain some kind of imaginary or real Earthy status. We all have things we need to accomplish for varied reasons. The hubby would lose his Earthy status with me if he stopped taking the trash out, but he’d still be valid as a spiritual being. Becoming aware of our motives for doing something - inner reason versus outer reason - can help us win any battles we face in this arena.

Personal notes:

I am constantly learning about this inner versus outer balance. It feels like a lesson I am constantly being exposed to and then promptly forgetting.

Does it really matter if I ever get rid of all those weeds? As far as who I am? No. In terms of my yard being beautiful to me? Yeah. So, that’s the difference. I deal with the weeds because I want to. (This is how you check your own motives - question Your Self.)

Having time to watch the birds or feel a warm breeze is important to me, so I need to figure nurturing things like into my day. I never want to live a life where it’s go, go, go constantly accomplishing tasks. That’s just not for me. No matter what I did in life, if I couldn’t watch a chipmunk eat for 2 minutes because I was too busy, I’d feel like I was missing out on something great.

I long to stop finding myself under the pressure of accomplishment. I long to stop putting myself there. I long to stop allowing the outside to change my mind or to alter my path, even if only momentarily. I long to know my path, to believe in my path, to know it is divinely ordered, and then to have the determination stick to it no matter what.


You are valid and worthy period regardless of what you accomplished or didn’t accomplish today. The sooner you believe that, the sooner you can stop fooling around with all this nonsense and be the awesome You that You are!

Seed, time, harvest - what are you filling the middle time with? Always do what you want to do with YOUR time. You can want to do the dishes, you know.

Set your own measurement for the word Accomplished. Define your life by your terms and by what’s important to you.

Ask yourself - why am I doing this? Make sure it’s YOU answering and not the pretend you.

Become aware of your mind chatter. Choose to have conscious, rational conversations with yourself instead of unconscious, unmonitored ranting sessions.

There will always be “wasted” or misspent time on projects that don’t work out. We can limit this by being thoughtful about our actions, but we cannot completely avoid it. My best advice - laugh at your own stupidity or at least laugh at your husband’s.

Joyce Meyer says, “Patience is a fruit of the spirit that is born only under trial.” Meaning: patience is only developed by having to you might as well develop it because it is a fact that we will all wait (period).....sometimes for a really long time.

And by the way, I didn’t touch on this part of the word, but - Nothing, NOTHING (and no one) completes us! Please, PLEASE people, stop believing that other people or things complete you! We are works in process that are whole in every single moment of Now. How can something be in process and whole you ask? That is the wonder of Life - isn’t nothing still something?

Suggested reading:

* Conversations with God series by Neale Donald Walsch
SARK’s early works

I'd love to hear your thoughts - I'll leave the comment section open until my next post (Friday). I hope you make a really great day for yourself!


Friday, June 24, 2011

I can't - video

The audio is on the quiet I suggest watching/listening when it's real quiet around you. Hope you enjoy it. Have a weekend as wonderfull as You are!


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

New blog feature: Wordy Wednesday

I love looking up words and finding out what they mean. The more I've done it, the more I've found myself surprised. Words don't always mean what we think they do. Over time our language has changed:
  • We've made up new words for things that didn't exist before.
  • We've decided words mean things that they never meant before.
  • We've shortened things to make them faster because we're all so darn busy or it costs too much to fully say what we mean.
In other words, language is alive. It evolves as we evolve. Some-times that's good, some-times that's bad. In some cases we've grown and expanded ourselves. In some cases we've forgotten things that we, as a species, knew before. We've become distracted. And in some cases, we've actually "dumbed" things down for ourselves, which has really backfired on us because now our language has become watered down. I hate it when all the ice cubes melt in my drink and it tastes less like it's supposed to and more like Yuck! In our culture, it's all catch phrases and commercials and who owns the rights to them.

It's not all about definitions though. The roots of words are as important as their own particular meaning. The word or words a word was based upon contain secret codes that ancient places in us understand. We can forget, but we can't disregard where a word came from and pretend it holds no importance anymore because it's old. Newer isn't always better.

Last year I found a Webster's 7th New Collegiate Dictionary from 1969 sitting outside my local library just waiting to be recycled. I scooped it up and took it home. It contains wonder for my brain and spiritual knowledge for my soul. In other words, I adore it! I recently bought a 1958 Britannica World Language Edition of Funk and Wagnalls Standard Dictionary, letters A - P, from a yard sale. I also use Webster's World Thesaurus and a copy of The Oxford American Desk Dictionary and Thesaurus.

At times, in order to fully understand a subject, I am lead to other books to research ideas and connections such as books about animals or the chakras, The Bible, etc. I go where I am lead and write down what I find in my journal. I call this studying and I credit this "studying" with much of what I understand and believe about Life. I hope to share that knowledge with you and that you may gain your own understandings and beliefs about Life or further root yourself in what you already know.

I don't usually allow comments (a personal preference), but I'd love to hear any thoughts you might have about the words, so I'll try to remember to allow comments on Wednesdays. If I forget and you'd really like to share something, please email me (amagickalmeliss AT yahoo DOT com).

Looking forward to seeing you every other Wednesday.


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

In the flesh

When warmth creeps slowly into each day,
strawberries and lemonade come together into my glass watermelon pitcher.

Fresh, fleshy bodies floating amongst frozen liquid.

Smooth touching textured with seed.

One clear, then white.
One red, then white.
Outside, they are different.
Inside, they are the same.

Then white yogurt with frozen berries of blue in watermelon glasses.

Crystallized juice can be so pretty.

Candy cantaloupe from Our Earth.

So pliable it can melt in your mouth.

My favorite knife cuts into all this yummy goodness for me.

Outside prickly, but cute.

Inside delicious, absolutely delicious.

And color - Oh The Color!

But it's not all just about the fruit -
Veggies are tasty too!

If you look closely,
you'll find the tiniest capsules of liquid that burst when you bite them
like fireworks in your mouth.

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away,
what do you think all this will keep away?

Happy Summer!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Sometimes rough is better

Every so often, maybe more often than I'd like,
I wonder...
what am I doing all this for?
Not that I even contemplate stopping,
I just wonder what's the point?

All this art
all this blogging business
taking pictures
writing ideas down in journals...
what is the purpose again????

and then I get poetic:
I cry to the sky,
"Remind me why!"

Before I know it,
the replies find me vacuuming the rug.
They hide in the carpet,
and quickly,
before they get sucked up,
leap onto the vacuum and run up the length until reaching my hand.
At that point, I'm not sure if they just seep into my skin,
riding that inner highway to my brain,
or if they make the trip to one of my head holes and go in from there.
Please let them use my ears.
Man, if they go in my mouth, I really hope they washed themselves first.

The reasons begin to grip me.
I don't need to cling to them.

But if I did need to,
their rough surface would provide little niches for my rough places to attach to,
even in the most microscopic ways.
I never realized before right now how comforting rough can be,
when you need somewhere to fasten yourself to.

Oh, yeah,
you're probably wondering about the reasons...

My first reason is still me,
for I've found...
If I'm not IN it,
then I shouldn't be doing it.

The next reason is this -
I feel like all the work I do right now,
sends waves of positive energy back through time,
to the me of the past...
not cared for properly by others, hence by herself,
empty, empty, Empty.

obviously full of an unstoppable force,
which is why,
this journey has become Wondrous,
and I want her to know,
I want her to know that IT HAS BECOME WONDROUS!
And I want her to know where she is coming to,
going to,
arriving at,
I want her to know the HOME that I have become for her.
I want her to know, IT IS AMAZING!
And more bless-sed than she can imagine in her hard right now.
So Thee Me of Now says to the me of then.....
hang onto those rough places you're in girl,
for they are leading you into my strengthened arms.

But now I've arrived at the most compelling reason for me to continue.....
Thee Unknown One.
Thee One I don't know.
And maybe never will.
She's out there.
Living her life.
Needing something.
and perhaps I'm that something,
coming to her,
seeping into her being,
the way those reasons seeped into me,
helping to heal,

And then some jerky inner voice just said to me,
"How dare you imagine that you could inspire someone!"
And I answer,
What an utterly stupid thought.
I've already inspired many,
many have told me so,
so why when I claim it is that a problem?
I know I've inspired some "popular" people,
even if they don't give me credit for it.
And I know if I can inspire the "popular",
as cool as they are,
I can inspire others.

I guess it really all just comes down to something that happened to me yesterday -

When a little girl walks past your art and actually gasps, "Oh my".......
it really just makes your heart sing.
I think not many little girls talk like that,
but she did.
And that's the last answer you need to the question "Why?"
Then you can move on
and get back to the heart of the art.

What if your entire lifetime was only about one encounter with someone else?
One moment in time,
when your life brushed against theirs,
altering what they believed their future to be about.
Is that enough?


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