Tuesday, September 20, 2011

This is a Recording

I am a Photographer.

I am a Recorder of Life.

It just so happens that the Life I record is the one I am in.

Some people spend their Life recording someone else's Life.

I spend my Life recording mine.

I record things in many varied ways......

through pictures
through art,

through words....

strung all together......

into an idea about Life.

I record all of its Happenings that I meet along the way.

I am taking It all in with eyes wide and open.

And on Mondays when the hubby goes back to work and I feel lonely,

Turtles crawl across the driveway and catch my eye out the kitchen window and I run out with my camera and find Its shell damaged, yet It is still being a Turtle.

Then art that makes me glad I can make art shows up and makes me glad and I forget that I was lonely.

Then I find out that I am in the constant state of re-learning how to go to Thee Heart of It All instead of where I usually go because where I usually go is not serving me any longer, if it ever was.

Then I remember -
At this time of year,
you never know
"Which day will be what was the last nice day to open the windows?"
"Which time will be what was the last time I saw the hummingbird or the chipmunks?"

I am here,
recording and enjoying,
feeling every last wind of warmth,
and catching every last breath of fresh'ness,
and seeing every last glimpse of flutter or fur,
because it won't last forever and it's important to know that constantly - "This [good time] too shall pass".

This beautiful flower will pass on and for now, the picture of it remains, but even that, one day, will be gone. How precious and wonderful Death makes everything around us. It forces us to not only cling, but also to release. Death teaches us to live. Then it saunters away and leaves us here taking deep breaths of It All In to store up for the winter that we know IS COMING.

But Today is the perfect temperature,
for Winter is not here yet.
There is still warmth all around.

This is my favorite time of year because it is filled with...

snuggling in soft sweaters,

and sipping and slurping soup from scratch,

and buttered bread broiled brown,

and rest and reflection are the name of the game.
But this time is a time like no other in this Life I record
(aren't they all?)
when new favorite things are being experienced and shared....

like swimming under the full moon with my bestest friend Hubby at my side
and talking for hours about everything
and laughing because I married the funniest person in the world who is more alive and animated than I've ever seen before
and realizing all over again that this is Thee Relationship that I have always needed and always wanted
and finding out anew that LOVE is not what I ever thought it was when I was young and stupid
and when we are 70 we're gonna be more in love than we were in the beginning.
That's how I think it should work, not the other way around.

Aaaaahhhhh, I breath out a deep contented sigh of loveliness.
You know, I may not be a lot of things
and I may not have a lot of things
and people may not approve of me or how I live,
but one thing I am is Blessed with Contented-Peacefull-Happiness.
That says a lot more than anything else.

I truly hope you are too.
And if you're not,
what I want to know is -
what are you waiting for????
And what I want to say is -
don't wait too long......
Winter is coming.


Monday, September 12, 2011

Wanna know a great secret for living happily ever after?

Choose it and then don't let all the ticks of the world stop you. Believe me, those bloodsuckers are out there and the only thing they have to do with their time is to try to suck your blood....it's the only way they can survive. :( Sad, but true.

You know what's really great? When someone takes their best shot at knocking you down and all it does is make you feel better, more confident in Who You Are and How You Live, and stronger baby......which in turn makes you feel even better because you're at a point in your journey that you've never been before......and you're in complete AWE in how it all has worked together in a symphony of experience to arrive at this Grand Moment in Your Time.

Has that ever happened to you? If not, not that I wish some tick in your life to suck your blood, but man, I hope you do, one day, feel the splendor that I feel now. Wow - it's amazing!

Did you know that many times blood-sucky situations have a wondrous amount of potential happiness in them just waiting around for you to notice it? Lately, I have found this to be true.

Man, That God-Thing is so tricky and kinda funny and good, OH SO GOOD! Thank you God for the ticks of the world - for they show me how freakin' awesome I am!!! YEAH BABY!!! :) BTW, You can do this with your own ticks too!!

~with much magick wished for you~

Friday, September 9, 2011

It's been raining for way too long

My heart is hurting
and sad
and I'm trying to keep going even though I want to give up because I'm just sick and tired of people and being disappointed by them
and I'm sick of the same old story being attached to me when I deserve so much better
So other than that, what have I been doing?

I've been finding my heart in a cage
- a rib cage -
which is a good cage to be in
because it means I'm still alive.

makin' pretty things from a jumble of wire
I've done the same thing with my life

recalling old stories that I'm yet to tell.....
and wondering if I'll ever tell them outside of my journal
and wondering if anyone will care
and trying to remain at the place where I don't care if anyone cares or not, but finding it hard and hurtful

takin' pictures of the rain and ruining them cause I didn't see the light reflecting

swimmin' in the rain
and fluctuating between feeling how I feel and knowing I am blessed

finding lots of adorable cats doing adorable things

(above - Pie-rat)
(below - Ta-tee-tee)

(Rowan watching one of his squirrel "friends")

sayin', "Say cheese" to my Praying Mantis friend who I find every time I look for it and the hubby says, "How do you do that?"

finding beauty in something shriveled

finding flowers that glow

remembering that this is my Summer-Sun-Set Life and to not let ridiculously expensive magazines tell me that my life isn't as inspiring as it
and then knowing it's more inspiring simply because I'm not in a magazine and I'm still going

And journaling, journaling, journaling which is the best way to get through anything
especially being unheard (listen to yourself when no one else does)

and what else???
making art.....

The Process of Belief
the unbelief is part of the belief.
because without the something the nothing cannot be defined
Belief cannot be known without becoming best friends with unbelief.

I've been best friends long enough with unbelief
I wan'na new best friend
anyone wan'na be best friends with me?


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