For when you're sad

I send you

~magick~
Meliss

Beauty is in the I

Of the bee-holder.
I’m Meliss, barely short for Melissa which means honey-bee.
The name was carefully selected for me,
of which I appreciate.




This film short is dedicated to the car load of people who told me
from their car
into my date’s car
at a red light in Philly
one day,
that I had really cool eyes.
:)
Big Huge Grin!

The person from the back seat said it
and all the other people in the car,
guys and girls,
said out loud
various agreements.
"Yeah, she does."
"Yeah, they are really cool."
Heads nodding.

I wish I would have gotten out of his car and into theirs.
They seemed like more fun than he turned out to be.
Heh.

Who does that?
What kind of a group of people stops at a red light and out loud to the person compliments someone in another car?
A f**king fun group I’ll tell you that!!
I’d love to be with a group of people who complimented people in other cars at red lights.

**Some time passes**

And now I am returning from doing lots of art
and working on this piece of art as an escape from a dramatic-emotional-voyage to no-where that got started somewhere else.
Convenient, eh?

I’ve returned to say,
part of the lesson of this video is about LAYERS.
Layers can be your Best-ee!
I started making this film short several years ago.
And I had a video complete,
but never shared it.
Guess it wasn’t done.
I’ve learned through making other videos and film shorts,
new stuff to do,
Layers I can add,
that several years ago,
I had NO clue how to do.
Layers have brought it from a video of a self-portraiture session I did with Me.
:)
To something much more artistic
and expressive.

Some people would say I am beautiful.
I receive it.

I think my face creates beautiful angles and my eyes shine with the light of my soul.
And I have learned from Tyra Banks to smize and to capture the light on my face.
She taught me to be my own model.
That’s enough to get some good shots, eh?
:)

is it perfect?
No.
Would film peeps see flaws in it?
Yep. 
Do I care?
No.

I wanna say:
if you want pictures that shine with your personal beauty,
experiment until you find them.

They will be tucked into the cracks of the layers of the work that you put into it.

I’ve worked hard to get here.
And I’m gonna celebrate it.

I SHARE WITH PEOPLE WHAT I BELIEVE THEY WILL FIND VALUE IN,
what I have found value in.
If it happens to be about an experience I had with You and You get brought up.....
Hey, my condolences,
but get over it.
Go live your life.
Why don’t you get so busy in your own life,
that you don’t even sweat it.
I wish you’d have such a wonderful life that you would FORGET about me.
Go ahead.
I give you permission.
FORGET ABOUT ME.
I don’t matter.
I’m invisible.
Hey, I’m the mailman’s kid anyways,
so I never was part of the crowd.
Just pretend I died!
I might as well have
becuase I am living in Eden - which is so much like Heaven one could want no more.
Well.....it would be cool if Eden would have a sewing machine I can write with and draw flowers and such with and also a dressmakers form and a typewriter......
:)

Having a wish list is good thing.
It’s not good to ‘have’ everything you want.

Sometimes I think I have enough because I like what I have so much.
I wish the same for everyone.
So we could all be happy in our lives.

Joyce Meyer says we need "backbone, not wishbone."

I just looked at the clock and it was 11:18.
That’s today,
my birthday.

I’m stealing Katy Perry's words:
Different DNA.
They don't understand you.
You're from a whole nother world,
a different dimension.
From Supernatural.
I strong identify with that song.

~some magick from my journey~

One day at the library I told my friend Addison about my experience of being,
"the mailman’s kid."
He suddenly pointed to a book behind my head on the shelf, then got up, saying he’d just read this book and wanted to ask me what I thought about it.
He told me it was all about a bird having a daughter with the mailman and what happened to this half-bird, half-girl chick.
I said, "OMG, you mean She was THE MAILMAN’S KID? Wasn’t that just what I said I was?"
He said, "Yes, you did."
I had to read the book.
It was really weird, a very-very strange tale,
but also really, Really encouraging and inspiring to me and my artistic journey.

Putting this out there has me feeling Fear.
But of what I cannot tell you.

JUDGEMENT!!

??

um, how about this:
When people start saying things that Actually Kill You,
I’ll worry about their judgement then.

Shoot,
I’ve already been called a zero
and a loser....
And probably ugly
and, welp, I’m still alive
and a hell of a lot of Happy.

That’s the other lesson of this video:

Don’t not do something like this because you are afraid of the judgement of others.
That’s just plain ol’ silly.
Live your life doing the things you want to do even if people think it’s completely pointless.

In an article about Peter Beard (master art journaller),
the writer said, "Beard confessed to me, ‘It’s funny that the two things I love most – collecting stones and doing dairies – are equally meaningless.’ Meaningless? These yearly diaries are the inspiration of virtually all young journal makers today."

Sometimes you should still do that something even if you’re the one who thinks it’s completely pointless.

~magick~
Meliss

Surviving the dream

On the days when it’s hard to live my dream,
I survive by the words of others who are ‘alone’ and living their dreams.

Diana Nyad, says to me:

"Just remember, remember if the body’s hurting and the mind is weak, that you want to do this."

"This 90 minutes, how do I get through it?"

Ke$ha said to me just this morning:

"I came to realize a long time ago that the only constant is gonna be me & at first it was kinda heart-breaking, but this is my life. Making music & sharing it with my fans is what I love more than anything else in the world. I know it’s not gonna be easy to have any kind of personal life, but I’m lucky enough to be living my dream so the least I can do is dive in all the way."

Glenn Villeneuve from Nat Geo’s Life Below Zero told me:

"This is the best way of life for me to live & I’m gonna do it as long as I can."

Sue Aikens from Nat Geo’s Life Below Zero comforted me with:

"Happiness is a very brief bust of emotion, but to be content is to be comfortable in a style of life."

A song from Night of the Comet shared:

"Now that you got everything that you wanted, you’re gonna have to learn to deal with the dream."

And Zoe from American Horror Story - Coven put me under a spell:

"Be in your nature."

Iyanla Vanzant reminds me:

"Your vision has to be self-sustaining."

And Daniel Esquivel from Project Runway All Stars assures me:

"You can do anything with silk organza."

Thank God I have some.

~magick~
Meliss

Ps:  TAN CATS ARE WORTH A THOUSAND BACKSTABBERS AND/OR PIGS, as The Hubby calls them.  "Oink, Oink, my good man."  We're so glad we got the better end of the deal.  :)

Magick is my word

so magick is what I’ll say.

A Poetess visited my blog.
:)
Nay, a performance poet!
I Like that with a capital Like.
I admire that about her.
She said things to me that I didn’t understand,
but was also scared by and intrigued by.

Things that referenced performing poetry that you wrote yourself in front of people.
Eeekkk!~
That scares me.
Some people would say I should do it for sure then
(probably even past or future versions of Me).
Maybe one day.
But for now,
I’ll just keep practicing it in my room,
all alone
performing for an imaginary audience
or even just God.

I’ve seen it work with me imagining a big bath tub outside
just because it was a beautiful vision that helped me escape the less than perfect surroundings I was bathing in at the time.

And now,
I have what is like a big bath tub outside.
I’ve been told that - Pretending is one of the fastest ways to get something into your life!
Pretending.
Yeah, I said pretending.
Sounds crazy.
I know.
But sometimes,
pretending is really just practicing,
with really subtle differences.

We should practice things we want to do,
so we know how to do them.
Why we ever think we should just know what to do,
I have no clue.
Must have been our mothers.

The local Poets have been unfriendly towards me.
Ha,
How silly that I should write that.
But,
I giggle,
it’s true
and nod at its poetic nature.

I don’t know if they are stuck up
or if I just think they’re stuck up which is what makes them seem stuck up.
?

I was the outsider.
I usually,
to always,
am.
And nothing has seemed to change that.
I also seem to be with a guy who is the outsider.
Go figure.

But now,
it’s all okay,
for I have learned to draw!
And to fill my life up with an army of beings behind me.
My paper and pencil/pen have become what creates connection in my life.
Sometimes it’s my computer.
:) hi.

Yeah, It’s disappointing when people don’t get you.
But not deadly.
IT AIN’T DEADLY.
We can live through rejection
even in just understanding
and appreciation
and validation
let alone real rejection of the heart!~
Ouch.
But survivable.
All survivable.
Even bullying is survivable.
I’ve seen many survivors.

So, the local poet group didn’t get me
or didn’t want to.
Not a big deal.
I’ll just continue on,
living and loving my dream the way it is now.
Which is part wondering,
always wondering,
getting curious-er
and curious-er....
What will happen then?
And feeling scared
And part Knowing.
And feeling a- sured.
All held together with a big ol’ bow called Art
because it turns out,
I’M FINALLY GOOD AT SOMETHING BESIDES SEX
and attracting men.
And now,
I take my refuge in that
and I close my eyes tight against it
so the next thought of how it’s not true can’t whisper doubt alive in my belly.
I hate it when that happens.

~magick~
Meliss