Tuesday, May 8, 2012

From altar girl to sewer rat

When someone IS a liar
the result is they believe YOU are a liar.

When they've been lying to you
they believe you are lying to them.

They require no proof of their beliefs
to believe it of you.
Even if you've never been caught lying by them about anything,
because you haven't lied to them,
because you never had anything to lie to them about,
it simply doesn't matter.

You must be a liar for their story about you to work.

When someone IS resentful of you
the result is they believe YOU are resentful,
no matter how many times you've explained your position....
it reverts back to the fact that you must be lying
because they are in fact lying.

None of this will be apparent to them
because they don't know who they really are
and they will try to twist your insight back upon you.
THAT'S why it is VITAL to
then they can't tell you that you are them in disguise.

Here is a short story:

Once upon a time there was a bird who lived outside
but who didn't know it lived outside
and no matter how many times others tried to convince the bird that it lived outside
it didn't believe.
One day a cage showed up who said,
"Hey bird, fly in here, for this is where you will truly be free."
Now that bird lives in the cage
only it doesn't know it lives in the cage
because the bars are so close to its eyes
it can't see them.

Part of me feels like I am being bullied
all over again
for things that other people are responsible for
but I am Thee Scapegoat for All
If you hate your life
must be my fault
If you lost a relationship due to your lack of care
must be my fault
If your friends abandon you and leave you sitting at home
take it out on me
why not,
It's not like I ever drove an hour one way so you could see the ungrateful jerks
no, no
must be my fault
there's no other explanation for why people didn't bother with a relationship with you
cause people are so good at being in relationships and keeping up with relationships.
yes, I'm everyone's problem.

Hubby - "We won."
Me - "How's that?"
Hubby - "Cause you got your saying tattooed on her back and she hates it."
don't tell me people don't act out things unconsciously and have NO CLUE that they are
here was the good advice I tried to share and I quote: 
"If I had gotten the tattoo I wanted on me at 18, I'd have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle on me right now."
but I'm just a controlling resentful liar

here's my new advice for those of you looking to get some ink:

don't go around believing someone is always on your back when they're just trying to help you out of your 'young and dumb'ness' and provide you a better chance than they were given because you will end up with a tattoo of something they always said to you to try to comfort you on your back and you will resent it because you resent them
but it will ALWAYS be there
you can cover it up all you want
it's still there
mocking you
carved into your flesh as long as you live
naturally you won't see this as your own fault
it's obviously the work of a controlling resentful liar who never wanted you to have friends
Homer Simpson said it best, "You chose fruit, you eat fruit." 

 Man, if you can bawl your face off and rant for a few hours at what you heard mid-day
and arrive at the evening saying,
"God, Thank you for the AWESOME day!  I love you and I know you love me no matter what's going on."
still with puffy eyes and 10 stab wounds in your back
that you'll have to heal knowing there probably are more to come
Then nothing can keep joy from you.
Then no-one's actions can keep you from joy.


ps:  I dedicate Megadeth's "Liar" (beware of 'bad' language).
ps 2:     21 visits from West Grove? and 10 from Aston?  really?  I haven't even posted that much.  You people need to get a hobby.

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