Saturday, October 27, 2012

The Curious Commodities of Mistress Marjoram

Welcome kiddies to Halloween 2012 in my world.
Whilst Hurricane Approacheth (that spells Whaaaaa?)
anyways, Thanks to the lovely Miss V.V. for providing me another opportunity to tell you a tale.

Cuddle up,
It's story time.

"Under an indigo sky
you may search for I
but you'll never see me
unless I look for thee"

I found these words barely visible on a headstone in the old cemetery.
I pondered what they meant
finally determining it was some type of riddle
of which
i had not a clue how to answer.

Confound it, I didn’t have my camera with me.
Note to self,
always have camera with you.
I turned around to leave
and attempted to stifle my fright
when I found an old woman behind me
very hunched over,
a walking stick as knobbly as her hands,
who sounded a lot like Yoda -
“Want to know what it means, you do.”
I said, “Sure.  What does it mean,” with the expectation of knowing the answer.
She said, “No clue honey,” and laughed as she straightened up
gaining 3 inches, lost 70 years, and sauntered away.


but in her stead
a business card
which read
The Curious Commodities of Mistress Marjoram
"How curious"
upon flipping the card over
I read the following directions

At sunset

through the old abandoned cemetery

enter the haunted forest
there you will find my cottage

there will you find my door,
knock thrice
(which will only make Horace more grumpy than he is, but he's the door knocker so I don't know what he wants me to do about it)
and i will know i'tis you.

so, that very night,
I did.

"Ah, yes, it's you deary."
She seemed that old woman again
but at any moment I anticipated a change.
"Perhaps your travels have parched you?"
parched me,
is this woman for real?
"Well of course I'm real."
My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open
"You can read minds?"
"No, I can read the internet.  I've already read this story.  Know how it ends."
She winked.  "Do you want a drink or not?"
"Okay, what do you have?"

She approached a small square table where many bottles and two glasses rested.
one of those glasses looked dirty.  I hope she doesn't try to give me that one.  oh snap, she can read minds.
but she appeared not to notice as she leaned over, using that same knobbly stick to keep her balance.
"I've got.....Elixir of Pixie.  Elixir of Indigo Nights.  Uh, Tree of Life Elixir.  or what I recommend is the Straight up Moonshine."
"Uh..." I stammered, my eyes only watching the dirty glass, willing it further away from me.
She spoke the word, "Moonshine," knowingly
to which I quickly agreed, "Yeah, yeah, I'll take a Moonshine."
and to my delight,
she pointed her crooked finger and spun it around until a mug appeared out of thin air,
and floating right in it

"Welcome to my cottage full of curious commodities."

"Giant Diamonds....."

"Enchanted tree bark......"

"The Egg Sac of a Praying Mantis....."

"baskets full of concoctions and the ears of creatures I'd have to explain to you for you to understand....."

 "Dragon scabs and scales,"

"Oh, and Boogie Man Scabs.
Hey, whatever it takes to get the job done.
Now what can I do you for?"

But instead of allowing me to speak,
she continued,

"Please excuse the state of my 'lil ole shop,
it used to be the studio of an artist.

"She died.
She created herself to death!!!"
(insert lightning crash and super creepy old witch's laugh here)

::COUGH cough, HACK hack:: repeat
after 5 minutes,
the old broad finally gets her lungs back
and continues.

"No, she retired.  Lives on an island somewhere and swims her butt off, I heard.
and since I moved in here,
I just haven't had time to get it all fixed the way I'd like it,
but I will."  She says this more to herself than to me.

"You are a unique person,
very precious and rare indeed!
I can see it in your eyes.
You seek even more curious items.
"I have just the thing somewhere around here."
She pauses, her eyes sweeping around the room.
"Ah, yes, yes,
a singing faerie cage for when the electricity goes out?
Very useful for Hurricane preparedness."

I wrinkle up my face,
peering inside the empty cage,
looking for the Faerie,
perhaps the poor gal is tuckered out and asleep in the bottom of the cage, I wonder.
Mistress Marjoram perceives my disinterest and switches gears.
"I haven't yet caught one myself, but perhaps one day.
The hard part is catching them.
But the good part is the dumb ones are the best singers, eh?  Am I right?"
She chuckled and elbowed my ribs, as if I should know.
I only smiled at her and tried to nod knowingly.

"Cur-sed jewelry?
I can fix it so whoever wears the item gains 100 pounds?
Moving on....."
She sensed my interest fading.

"Please don't leave,
and regret lost opportunities later,

I have many items,
there are many items here,
waiting to solve all your problems
and make your life exactly what you want it to be."

"A life like I want it to be," I spoke dreamily aloud.

"Yes dear, perhaps by dealing with those you dislike."

"Perhaps these cur-sed tea cups for a frienemy?"

"or purchase with the cur-sed spoon for a double whammy."

"Maybe it is youth or beauty in a bottle you seek?  Magickal Sea Water and The Flesh of a Mermaid are useful in these areas.
Or maybe something to make your man more connected to his emotions?  The Flesh of a Merman contains all the emotional tides of the sea you could ever desire."

"Per chance you seek a spell?"

"I am very skilled in the arts and crafts of witchery."

"I have many racks filled with ingredients,
with many varied uses."

"The Pelt of a Black Goat will grow spiritual hair on your chest literally over night."

"Hair on your chest?" I ask, sort of disgusted.

"Spiritually speaking my dear!
Courage my fair gal,

 Yeah, I thought to myself, there's no way I'm willing to chance growing hair on my chest.
I'll stay a scaredy cat,
Thank you.

"I'll make you famous,
using Essential Oil of Moon-glow of course,
not by killing you."

"Perhaps you seek a spell best not spoke of without careful consideration......
revenge has a way of taking revenge on those who disturb its nap....
and it's always napping."

"Allow me to introduce,
my ex-lover."

"and his cheating heart.
'nough said,
you get my point.....
Men, can't live without them,
or at least their heart."
She smiled all the while,
saying this,
which kinda freaked me out.
'cause she just looked so sweet.

"It may be you seek council with the mysterious woman in the globe."

"How much could a chick whose head is in a globe on your hearth know?" I asked.

"You'd be surprised," she replied, "Why not give it a try?  Nothing to lose."

"Except my money?"

"Me thinks you Should try that Pelt of a Black Goat," she muttered.

"What?" I questioned, yet sort of knowing what she had said.

"Nothing dear, just the mumblings of an old woman.  Will you try the globe?"

"Yes, alright, how much?"

"Oh, donations, I only accept donations, Love."  She again produced her finger which easily produced an offering bowl.

I produced coins and placed them in the receptacle provided."

What she told me,
I can not reveal,
but suffice it to say,
I received my moneys worth.

It was then that I finally felt I found my chance
to tell her why I was really there,
"It is a love potion that I seek Mistress."

A smile curled onto her face,
"Love potion, is it?"

"Come," she spoke softly now, as she took my arm and pulled me.
"warm yourself by my fireplace,
while I tell you the tale.   Then we'll see,
THEN we'll see about your love potion deary."

She sat me abruptly upon a chair that wasn't there before now
and she then sat upon another which appeared even closer to the fire.
She settled her old bones and began,


while seeking a way into his heart,
sought and found me
and purchased,

Her hand emerged from her cloak,
uncurled the index finger,
and pointed,
then turned as if beckoning  that which she had already pointed.
Next to me, a bottle clinked against others while it raised from a table.
I read the label.

"I warned her, 'Be careful with fame girl,
it has a way of having you instead of you having it.'
Like many young folk,
she only nodded and smiled my advice away,
thinking she knew better."

"A sudden concern for her came upon me,
"Dear, I think maybe we should think about some essence of sea nymph for your hair, instead.  Pretty hair can do wonders.'
But insistent was she,
he could love no other,
she couldn't bear it,
and the fame was just a bonus, she said, "As the label clearly says.  Besides lady, did you not say and I quoth, "to solve all your problems and make your life exactly what you want it to be" isn't that what you said to me?  And being with him will solve my problems and famous is how I want my life to be."
She had me, so I gave in.
With one further word:  Be Warned.  Only the lips they are meant for should touch this potion.  Otherwise,
the results could be disastrous."

"Unfortunately this fair maiden did not heed my words
and was not careful with the potion
for it mistakenly came into contact with the lips of her step father's brother."

"He became obsessed with her
and filled with a jealous rage.
He strangled her to death
while she waited at the edge of the woods for her love to arrive."

"What she hadn't known was that she didn't need the love potion,
he already loved her.
Her body was placed on a hill,
overlooking the place they were to meet.
And many years later,
when he died,
he was laid to rest right beside her."

"But she has become famous,

many people report seeing a girl in white
at the edge of the forest
from the window of the house
she used to live in."

"They say, 'Walking into the woods with a ball of white light.'
Most believe it is the spirit of her love,
come back to help her cross over."

"They say she watches over the young and in love
in these parts."

"So that their dreams of love do not become shattered,
as hers were."

"I caution you against the use of these tricks of the mind,
potions cannot truly change someone's heart
if someone's heart is unchanged to begin with.
I am under the belief that all girls should have the keys to their own hearts.
But then again,
I never was lucky in love."

Just then,
the clock struck 3.
"3?  3?" She rubbed her eyes and peered at the clock anew.

"It's still 3," I stated, also confused at how quickly time has passed.

"Dear, it's late
and if you want to know the truth,
nothing in here can solve all your problems
and I can't make your life exactly what you want it to be,
only you can do that."

She seemed to forget her sales tactics only momentarily before regaining her shrewd business sense.
"Well, some Essence of Angel can't hurt......never bad to have Essence of Angel on when going out on a dark night.
And don't forget, Warthog hair, terribly useful for......
well that stuff can.....
it can......"
As she had another bought with honesty,
she said,
"give you a really terrible rash."
She looked down at her arm and then rubbed it through her layers while looking up and shaking her head, as if she was remembering when it had happened to her.
I thought, the old bat is endearing darn it!
and I wanted to buy something from her,
I just didn't know what......

It was such a curious place
and Mistress Marjoram certainly was a curious old soul.
I wondered.....

"What item do you think is most curious Mam?"

She thought for a moment,
and finally replied,
"The most curious item is the one even I don't know or understand.
The strange door with no door knob on the wall.
Sometimes I sit and wait for it to open
and to reveal its secrets."
Her voice then became a whisper as she leaned in close,
"It must open from the 'other side'.
Maybe the next time you visit,
you'll pay me to hear the tale?"

"Yes," I decided, now that was a good deal.

 "Well, good night then deary," she spoke as she urged me toward the door,
"and be careful when you leave," she warned as I now stood outside the doorway,
"There's a ghost outside on the front lawn."
And she promptly shut me out.

** I hope something that makes you believe in 'magick' in a whole new way
 happens to you today.**

~Happy Halloweenie Everyone!~

ps:  Thanks again V!  Check out my haunting video "The Tempestuous Creation of Midnight." 

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